holding space for me.

“The more we accept ourselves, the better prepared we are to take responsibility in all areas of our lives.”

~ Bell Hooks

Hey loves,

Last time we spoke, I was telling you guys about my art prints launching and they’re here! Go check those out and get yourself a little something for the holidays. Shop here!

Now that that’s out the way, I just wanted to get on here today to talk about something that has been on my mind lately: detachment. Personally, I’m a very loving person, so I find myself growing attachments to my loved ones very easily, especially the ones that make me feel safe and heard. Generally speaking, this should be viewed as a good thing right? For some reason though, I’ve had this urge to detach myself in order to find my own path that fulfills me. I have so much love for people that I often end up putting their needs ahead of my own, but I’m in an era where I need to be selfish. Just the thought of it terrifies me, because I don’t want to disappoint anyone, but I also know that’s my people pleasing tendencies taking over. Disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with having a big heart, but we have to hold space for ourselves in that heart just as much (if not more) than the space we hold for others.

Just to make things a bit clearer, when I say detach I don’t necessarily mean isolation but rather losing the sense of dependence I’ve grown to people and becoming okay with putting me first. I know, I know, it sounds like isolation but to better explain lets get into the law of detachment. The law of detachment basically talks about letting go of expectations and control and letting things happen in whatever way they decide to manifest. In my case, people pleasing was my form of control. If I was perceived as the perfect friend, daughter, sister, etc, then everything would be ok. WRONG. Instead, all this did was chip away at my personal identity . In the process of making everyone else comfortable, I became innately uncomfortable with the person I was becoming.

Long story short, I’m going into 2024 as my authentic self and doing what I need to do for ME and whatever comes with that is what was meant for me to begin with. I do not intend to lose my big heart in this process, but rather allow more love in by embodying that within myself. In a world that’s becoming more and more heartless, I refuse to harden my heart.

Anyone else feel this way? Let me know in the comments!

Sammy :)